I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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