How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize