If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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