Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
