dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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