I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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