allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
