i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
