i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
FUCK WHALES
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
