from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
