she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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