New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
