The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize