Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
