Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
