i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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