Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
