Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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