I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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