We won't sleep together?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
