Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
