I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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