Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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