Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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