shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
