Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
