I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
