I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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