They should really pass out barf bags in church
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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