Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
