yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
