Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Randomize
