So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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