Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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