It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
sarcasm needs its own font
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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