she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
