Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
