You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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