also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
