There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Are my feet made of real feet?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
