i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize