hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
it's great music for shaving your balls
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He shit in the fireplace
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
