Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
