Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
