Me. At least after what I've been through.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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