O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
