I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
