Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize