we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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