How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize