If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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