it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
