I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
